


My Clarity

by Ariella1941



Series: In The Shadow of Empires [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, POV First Person, Plot, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:46:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8115166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariella1941/pseuds/Ariella1941
Summary: Theron and Aryelle begin to build an Alliance against the Eternal Empire, but after five years apart there are questions about where they stand with one another.





	1. Arrival

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?_

-  _Clarity_ , Zedd, Featuring Foxes

 

_Theron Shan_

I was nervous. There, I admitted it. Nervous, scared, excited, and so blasted tired of waiting as I watched Odessen swell into view. The numbness I’d been feeling for the last five years was about to come to an end. Because on that world was a woman who meant more to me than anyone or anything. A woman who’d given me clarity and a purpose again. Something to fight for rather than against.

Aryelle Thrace was on Odessen waiting for me.

Or at least I hoped she was waiting for me anyway. I’d sent her a message even before Lana and her team had gotten Aryelle out of carbonite and the Spire, but she never responded. Which really didn’t mean anything, or so I kept telling myself. After all, she’d been running for her life since she woke up, which didn’t leave much time for correspondence.

And of course, Lana was her usual helpful self.

I’ve never been sure if she really was uncomfortable with my relationship (whatever we wanted to call it) with Aryelle or if she was just messing with me.  Or maybe it was a little of both. Whatever it was, Lana refused to say anything about Aryelle that didn’t have to do with the Alliance.

Which left me with another concern.

I didn’t completely understand how Vitiate had managed to also be Valkorion, and Lana didn’t seem to either. I doubt anybody really understood how the Sith Emperor managed that little impossibility, except maybe Aryelle, since he was a passenger inside her head right now.

Lana was certain that Valkorion hadn’t taken control of Aryelle, but she now had access to power she never had before. Power she’d used twice.

Lana told me how Aryelle had saved her from a Knight of Zakuul, and managed to flatten everything within fifteen meters, and that was just mildly frightening. It got terrifying when she told me about the lightning storm that surrounded the Asylum’s control spar as Aryelle battled it out with Arcann. She’d taken out every ship in proximity, and blasted Arcann over the side of the platform.

Asylum was a shadowport, so there was no way of knowing the death toll, but Lana believed it was ‘significant’. I really didn’t like the sound of that, but at the same time, I’m not exactly sure I wouldn’t have done the same. That I wouldn’t have reached for the most powerful weapon I had to take down Arcann, or to protect a friend from overwhelming odds.

What I didn’t know was if this changed things between _us_.

I shouldn’t be thinking about this, not with so much else at stake, but for five years, I’d been numb inside. First thinking she was dead, then desperately planning to rescue her from the Spire. Five years of needing to strike back against Zakuul, needing to hurt Arcann like I’d been hurt. But Aryelle was alive and this Alliance wasn’t about revenge.

I had a job to do, and I was going to do it, but I also had a chance at a life. What I didn’t know was how Aryelle was thinking, or feeling, or if Valkorion had changed everything between us.

 _She’s waiting. I know she is. I can_ feel _it._

I wasn’t sure if that was the bond we shared or wishful thinking, but whatever it was it helped ease a little of the anxiety. Enough that I didn’t go running down the passenger ramp when we landed.

The moment I stepped off the ramp, the numbness that I’d been feeling since Aryelle had left faded, replaced by that sense of something I couldn’t quite grasp. I looked around, trying to pretend I was taking in the base, not searching for someone. Not that I had to search too hard.

“Theron Shan,” Aryelle said as she walked toward me, a smile on her face.

_So far, so good._

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” I told her, and yeah, I know it probably wasn’t the best thing to say after missing her for five years. Of course, it managed to get worse.

“It’s coming together,” she replied looking at me oddly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Thanks,” I said, knowing I was sounding stupid. Did I mention I’m really bad at this? “I wasn’t sure if you’d even remember me, considering what Lana told me you went through… are going through.”

This time the look she gave me was easy to read. It was her _don’t be stupid, Theron_ expression. I’d seen it more than a few times before, and as usual she was right.

“Theron, there are any number of things that are possible in the galaxy,” she told me in an all too patient voice. “forgetting you isn’t one of them.”

I found myself fighting two things: a sigh of relief and a stupidly happy grin. I figured it was better to change the subject than dig myself any deeper. If we could have some real privacy for, say, a few minutes maybe, I’d do better.

“Lana told you she brought me in the manage operations?” I asked.

Aryelle nodded as we walked away from the shuttle toward the main complex. “Yes, she did.” She sounded-- regretful maybe? And I knew why, but this wasn’t the time or place to get into five years of history.

“We’ve got a lot of official stuff to get into, but before we dive in, I’ve got something for you.”

Her eyes brightened. “You found my people?”

“Not yet, but I’d like to think this is almost as good,” I said as I tapped a command into my com.

 Tora, _Gravestone’s_ engineer, yelled at me over the open channel: “She needs work! A lot of work!”

I chose to ignore Tora in favor of watching Aryelle’s face as _Shrike_ appeared, streaking across the horizon to land on the far side of the base.

“Theron,” she breathed, eyes going bright.

“I know how much she means to you, Ary,” I said quietly. “Welcome home.”


	2. Co-workers and Cantina Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amidst working to build the Alliance, Theron and Aryelle try and find time to talk. And Lana throws an office party at the base cantina.

_Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end._

\- _Closing Time,_ Semisonic

_Theron Shan_

Lana pulled a mind trick on me. It’s the only way I could explain how I’d found myself having to herd at least three seriously intense egos (I wasn’t sure about the Voss Mystic yet) in the right direction. Of course, it was partially my own fault. I’d recruited Admiral Bey ’wan Aygo for our military contingent, and Hylo Visz to handle logistics. At least I could blame Lana for Doctor Oggurobb (yeah, that Doctor Oggurobb, the Hutt scientist). Sana-Rae had come to us rather than the other way around, but it meant one less Force related issue I had to deal with.

Speaking of the Force…

“We’ll table this for now. The Commander’s here,” I said even before Aryelle stepped off the lift. I’d felt that ‘not quite’ sensation getting closer, and knew she was headed to the war room. But if anyone asked, Aryelle called me on the com. More than that was nobody’s business.

“I’m not interrupting?” she asked as she moved to stand by my side. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, and realized she’d changed clothes before coming down here. The outfit had a martial cut to it, and seemed to combine elements of both Republic and Imperial uniforms. Which made me pretty sure Lana had a hand in the design. The tunic was a dark blue, the pants and boots were black, and the only decorations she wore were two silver pins with the insignia of the Alliance on her collar. There was no other indication of her rank or position in the hierarchy. She didn’t need any.

“Of course not, Commander,” I replied and almost _felt_ the flinch she hid. When we worked together before we’d been equals, but now she was the Alliance’s commanding officer. And it was obvious, to me at least, that she was less than happy about what the change meant.

 “You sounded like you could use some help,” she said as she glanced at the holo model of what we’d been calling Star Fortresses.

“With Arcann’s battle stations? We will, as soon as we figure out how they work,” I told her. “You and I both know how hard it was to assemble the coalition on Yavin. What we’re building here makes that look like child’s play, and Arcann is not going to be as easy to take out as Revan.”

I could tell she wanted to say something sarcastic, but held back. Instead she turned to toward the advisors Lana and I had managed to assemble.

“I think you know at least a couple of our specialists,” I said and she nodded.

“I certainly do,” she replied as she smiled at Aygo, “It’s good to see you again, Admiral. Been a long time since Kuat.”

“That it has, ma’am. It’s good to be back in the thick of things, fighting the _real_ fight.”

“I think I can guarantee that this will be _a_ real fight at least,” Aryelle told him without losing that smile. She then looked over at the Hutt. “I have to admit I’m surprised to see you here, Doctor. Odessen isn’t exactly the bleeding edge of tech innovation.”

“Ah, my dear Commander, it will be once I am finished,” Oggurobb said, “and the challenge of finding a way to match… no, surpass the Eternal Empire’s technological advantage is one of a lifetime. And there is no more important challenge _in_ this lifetime.”

“If anyone can rise to the challenge it’s you, Doctor. I have faith in that.”

Just a few words and she had both the Bothan and the Hutt eating out of her hand, but she’d met them both before, and I remembered what Satele had told me about Aryelle’s affinity with Force bonds. Honestly though, I chalked it up to the fact that she’s just that charismatic, no Force tricks required.

“Commander, if I can introduce Hylo Visz. She’ll be handling the Alliance’s logistics.”

Hylo laughed and said, “What Theron means, Commander, is I’ll be running the Alliance’s smuggling ring, because that’s what it’s going to take to get what we need without popping up on Arcann’s scanners.”

Aryelle laughed, “Sounds about right, and I think I recognize your name. You broke the blockade of the Hydian Way, right? The Masters were still talking about that when I first entered training.”

“Nice to be appreciated, Commander, and I’m looking forward to working with you. For a reasonable fee, of course.”

Aryelle laughed again, “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Three down, and I’ll admit I watched with a certain possessive pride as she worked. Whatever reservations she might have about leading, she’d be wasted doing anything else.

“Your visage surfaced during my trials,” the Voss woman said, “I am the Mystic Sana-Rae and I will assist you.”

Aryelle gave her a formal bow and said, “The wisdom of the Mystics is always welcome.”

Sana-Rae returned the bow, and didn’t say anything else. I was grateful for that, since talking to her gave me a headache. And I thought the Jedi were bad.

“It’s going to be a long road, and I know each of you are going to have specific requirements for your departments,” Aryelle told them. “To that end, I’d like to meet with each of you privately this afternoon to discuss your needs, and how best to handle them.”

Everyone heard the polite dismissal in her tone, and the meeting broke up. I waited until we were relatively alone then said:

“I knew you were good…”

“I’ve been practicing in front of a mirror,” she told me solemnly, but I saw the laughter in her eyes. “So what do I have to do to get you to tell me what you’ve been up to the last several years?”

“We’ll have time to talk soon,” I said as a little of the heat I was feeling slipped into my voice. “I promise.”

I watched her flush, and took it as another good sign.

_Stop worrying so much!_

“There you are, Commander,” Lana said as she stepped off the lift. “I was hoping to speak with you for a moment.”

This time I _did_ feel Aryelle flinch, but she had to get used to hearing it, even from her friends.

“I’m all ears, Lana,” she replied, “but we’re going to have to make it quick. I promised Admiral Aygo and the rest I’d come by and talk with each of them privately.”

“Wise idea,” Lana said as she nodded to me, “as for what I wanted to discuss, it’s rather simple. I was thinking tonight might be a good time to get together at the cantina for a drink.”

“And who are we getting together with?” Aryelle asked suspiciously, and I didn’t blame her. Lana rarely did anything without two or three different motives.

“Koth and his crew, Senya,” she gestured at me, “Theron, of course, and whomever else wishes to attend.”

“I’ll try, Lana, but it’ll all depend on how these discussions go,” Aryelle replied, “they may run long considering the situation.”

“I understand, of course. The Alliance takes precedence, but you also need to take a break once and a while,” she said, but I had the feeling that Lana wasn’t just talking about Aryelle.

Great. I was going to have to be social. Not how I wanted to spend my first evening on Odessen. Not by a long shot.

* * *

 

“Koth, do you recall the last time we actually relaxed?”

I pretended to take a sip of my drink (a good skill for a spy to have), and wondered how much longer I’d have to stay. Aryelle hadn’t shown up, and I had a backlog of work that I couldn’t get to until I’d gotten to Odessen.

Since Lana was busy talking to Koth, I pulled a small data pad from my back pocket, and began to try and get some of that work done.

“I’m thinking two point six million years ago, when Senya was still a jerk,” Koth replied just as the former Knight walked by.

Senya turned around and actually smiled at Koth, “And here I had a new composition I was going to sing tonight.”

“You sing? And… I have got to hear this!”

“Sorry, too late now,” she said with that same smile and walked off.

I rolled my eyes. I have no problem with banter, but if those two keep going like this, it could cause a hell of a lot of trouble for the Alliance.

I was going over a couple of dispatches when Lana started to glare at me.

“Theron, this is supposed to be a social gathering,” she said as I looked up from the pad. “The galaxy’s problems will still be there tomorrow.”

“You didn’t bring me here to socialize.”

“No, I brought you here because you’re one of the best.”

Of course, we both knew that wasn’t the only reason I was here. If anything, I would have found my way to Odessen even if Lana hadn’t brought me in.

That ‘not quite’ sensation got stronger so I looked over at the steps leading into the cantina, and tried not to smile.

“Hey! Look who’s here,” I said as Aryelle walked over, “we didn’t really start without you, just somebody got impatient.”

“Tora?” Aryelle asked as she came to stand by me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the fact that just standing next to her can make me feel this happy. I don’t want to get used to it either.

Koth nodded laughing, “Yeah, she does that.”

“It’s good to see you, Aryelle,” Lana said, “I wasn’t sure you would attend.”

“You weren’t sure I would attend because I was caught up in meetings? Or you weren’t sure because I’m a stodgy Jedi with a reputation to live up to?”

“Should I tell her the truth?” Lana asked as Koth started laughing harder.

“One of these days, Lana Beniko, I will pay you back for all this. With interest,” Aryelle replied as she narrowed her eyes. And I wasn’t exactly sure if she joking or not.

“Ignore them,” I told her. “So you going to have a drink with us, or what?”

“You buying, Theron?”

“Drinks are on the house tonight, according to Lana, but we all know how shifty she is,” I said, giving Lana the most insincere smile I could manage, and got a glare in return.

Tora had given Lana the nickname “Miss Spooky Eyes”. Tora was either very brave or very crazy or both. I just wish I’d thought of it first.

“You wanted me to be social,” I said, “This is me being social.”

Before Lana could kill me, Aryelle burst out laughing. “I’ve missed the two of you.”

“I think I can speak for the both of us when I say we’ve missed you as well,” Lana said, “but I’m sure Theron missed you quite a bit more than I did.”

Well, I did start it, but damn, I wasn’t going to let Lana finish it.

“There’s a story here, and you didn’t tell me, Lana?” Koth said looking at the three of us strangely.

“I’m sure she can fill you in while Theron and I go have that chat he promised me,” Aryelle replied as she laced her fingers with mine.

I gave Lana one last bland smile and let Aryelle lead me away.

* * *

 

Five seconds after we left Lana and Koth the nerves came back in full force. Worse I couldn’t hide them from Aryelle.

“You were right,” I said, deciding to take the initiative before she could ask why I was nervous.

We entered one of the small alcoves in the back of the cantina as she asked, “About what?”

“That I wouldn’t be on administrative leave for long,” I replied, not really wanting to think too much about those days. “As soon as Arcann invaded, the Director reinstated me. Not that it did any good since we were completely blindsided by Zakuul.”

“Lana told me about the tech disparity, not to mention I’ve seen what the Eternal Fleet can do.” She shivered and I squeezed her hand gently.

“Saresh couldn’t stomach the idea of allying with the Empire against Zakuul, especially since when she promised unconditional victory against the Sith, so when the Senate went around her and negotiated the terms with Zakuul, she took a major hit. Not enough to take her down, but enough for her to tighten her fist on the power she had.”

“She needed an easy win.”

I nodded. “Exactly, and anybody who tried to tell her otherwise was quietly ‘retired’. Like Admiral Aygo.” I closed my eyes. Leaving the SIS still hurt, even after all this time. So it was Aryelle’s turn to squeeze my hand gently. “It just got to the point I couldn’t stomach it anymore, so I walked away. I kept up my network, kept fighting the good fight. Just instead of for the Republic, it was against Zakuul.”

She looked at me with those brown eyes of hers but said nothing. She didn’t have to. Not because of the Force bond, but because of that day she rescued me from Revan. The day she calmly told my ancient ancestor she was going to destroy him.

“And now?” she asked instead.

“Now I’m working for the Alliance,” I said, “and I promise I’ll try and keep everything running smoothly as I can around here.”

She smiled and said, “Does that include me? Because I think I’m going to need some help running smoothly.”

Okay, that eased the nerves a bit. “I’ll see what I can do,” I told her, heat slipping into my voice.

“Please…” she asked me as she reached out, fingertips tracing the implant near my left eye.

That’s about the time I forgot how to breathe, so I returned the favor and kissed her.

It wasn’t slow or gentle—both of us were too impatient for that—but it was so damned sweet after five years apart. And when we broke for air, it was Rishi all over again. Clinging to each other, wanting to dive back in, to forget about everyone else. At the moment, I didn’t care much. Anyway, I figured we’d earned it after all this time.

But the noise from the cantina’s main room reminded me that as much as I wanted to forget everyone else, neither of us could afford to. Not in public anyway.

Aryelle pulled back a little. Never leaving the embrace, but just enough to look in my eyes. There are a few advantages to having this bond of ours.

“I got your message,” she said, but it took me a second to understand what message she meant. “We never did make anything official beyond ‘us’,” she continued, and I realized she was giving me a chance to catch my breath.

“You want to make this official?” I asked her. On the surface, it seemed like a stupid question, but I still needed to know for a lot of reasons.

“Yes, I do,” she told me. “I want us to be together, a couple, or whatever you want to call it. Because we _are_ more than just colleagues or friends, and have been for a while.”

“Next question is how do you want to do this. We weren’t exactly open about what was going on, but the base isn’t big enough to hide the fact that the Commander’s having a relationship.” I avoided mentioning that said relationship was with a subordinate, since she was having enough trouble adjusting to the she didn’t have an equal anymore. At least where the Alliance was concerned.

“Then we’re professional on duty, and what we do in private is nobody’s business,” she told me, “but I’m not going to hide the fact we’re together anymore.”

“Works for me,” I said with a smile, “but the rumor mill is going to be buzzing with this.”

“For a while, but people will get bored eventually, and it’ll just become accepted fact.” She replied, “I care about you too much to let something like as stupid as gossip get in the way.”

“I care about you too,” I said, feeling surprisingly content, then I shook my head. “You never cease to amaze me.”

She blinked. “What did I do now?”

I tried to think of a way to explain exactly how I was feeling. “That you know how bad I am at this, but you’re willing to try, even with everything else you have to do.”

“Theron,” she said, her voice gentle, “you know how much I hate the word destiny, but this… us. It sure feels like it.”

“Yeah, it does.”

* * *

 

The party was winding down as we got back to it. Several members of the Gravestone’s crew looked like they’d been through a war, with glasses and bottles scattered all over the place.

Lana looked up to see us approach, and said, “Before you ask, Tora challenged Len to a drinking contest.”

“Looks like it didn’t go so well.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Koth said with a sigh, “I probably should have stopped them, but they needed this as much as the rest of us. Even if they’re back on duty in an hour.”

“And I’ve still got some paperwork to deal with,” I said, and could almost feel Aryelle’s disappointment.

“Reminds me of my advisor days,” Lana added with a smile.

“Before we go back on duty, I just wanted to say thank you,” Aryelle said. “I’d still be locked in carbonite if it wasn’t for you guys, and I know I couldn’t handle this Alliance of ours alone. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome… Outlander,” Lana told her with a smile, and Aryelle made a face.

“I’ll deal with ‘Commander’, since it comes with the job, but call me Outlander again, and I’ll do something nasty to you, Lana.” Aryelle glared at her. “And I’m sure Theron would help.”

I didn’t do anything except manage an unconvincing cough to cover my grin. Somehow, I ended up with another sibling in Lana Beniko, another slightly annoying sibling. Which made three: Teff’ith, Kira, and Lana. For guy with lousy relationship skills, I’d somehow managed to find a family during the craziness that is my life. And as I looked at Aryelle, I knew I’d also found more than that, which was something I really never expected.

“Wait. Where’s Senya?” Koth asked with a haunted look.

“Koth,” Lana said in what she must have thought was a soothing voice, “she’s not hunting you anymore.”

Aryelle closed her eyes for a moment, and then said, “I don’t think she’s in the base proper, but I can go looking for her if it’ll help.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he replied and then started to roust his crew back to work as Lana nodded to us and headed off.

“Theron, a second?”

“Sure.”

“After you’re done with your paperwork, I was hoping you’d stop by my quarters,” she said. “I think we’ve got more to… discuss.”

I smiled, “I’ll be there.”

* * *

 

_Aryelle Thrace_

I found Senya out by _Shrike’s_ landing pad. I smiled as I saw my ship once more. It’s been my home for three years, and Theron had been right. It was almost as good as having the rest of my crew back. Almost.

Senya was looking out over the mountains as I approached, and she said “It’s impressive, you know. People from all over the galaxy want to stand with you.”

“I doubt that’s what you’ve been quietly contemplating all this time.”

“It is, after a fashion,” she told me, “I was thinking about Heskal, and how so many Scions were willing to throw their lives away because they believed it was their destiny to do so. The Scions’ visions provide great insight, but they are not infallible.”

“Not much different that the Heralds of Zildrog in my opinion.”

Or the Voss, but I chose not to say that aloud.

“There is that," Senya conceded. “There’s another leader who paid for his certainty. Say what you will about Valkorion but at least he considered the viewpoints of others. He listened to me… some of the time.” Her voice choked off, and I could feel the pain and conflict within her.

“What happened, Senya?”

“I told you before that Arcann had a twin brother: Thexan, who died fighting in the Core Worlds, but during my fight with Vaylin, she told me the truth: Arcann killed him. His own brother. His twin! And when she did… I couldn’t strike her down, even though I had the advantage.”

“If you’re not ready to discuss this…”

“No. I need you to understand, Commander, that I know now that my children must be stopped, and I need to make peace with the choices I’ve made,” she said to me. “I hope, with everything that brought you here, you can do the same.”

 She left me there, as I considered he words, and then I felt Valkorion’s presence. I was getting used to his appearances, and it seemed he did give me some kind of privacy or the illusion of it most of the time, but the fact he was here meant there was _something_ more.

“She raised a good point,” he said to me, as I entered that semi dreamlike state where he seemed to exist. “How do you look back on your path to this moment?”

I stopped a minute to seriously think about it. “I have surprisingly few regrets,” I said, shaking my head, “and the few are outweighed by the good in my life.”

Valkorion smiled at me, looking pleased: “Such a life is a life well lived, though I supposed it remains to be seen if you will ultimately succeed. I, for one, see you defeating Arcann, but others on this world disagree.”

“Who?”

Valkorion answered in that annoyingly cryptic way of his before his disappeared, “You shall see.”

Great… Just great.

 

 


	3. Igniting Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aryelle and Theron spend his first night on Odessen together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the tags because it got a little more explicit than I expected in this chapter. Not in language per se, but in content, so better safe than sorry.

_“The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins-but the heart of its strength lies in weakness: One lone candle is enough to hold it back._

_Love is more than a candle._

_Love can ignite stars.”_

-Matthew Stover, Author of the novelization of _Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith._

* * *

 

_Theron Shan_

Aryelle stood up from the couch as soon as I entered her quarters. The door hissed shut behind me as I took her in, reminding me this was no dream, no overheated fantasy. She was really _here_.

She smiled as she walked over, and I couldn’t help but admire the view. She still wore the same outfit as before, but she’d unbuttoned the tunic and gotten rid of the boots. What’s more, she looked comfortable.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly. It felt good but different this time around. Maybe it was because, outside Lana’s little get together, we hadn’t been together in a while, but that didn’t feel right. That’s when I realized that we had _time_ now. We could actually act like a couple because we didn’t need to try and fit moments into schedules that kept us apart for months at a time. Of course, I really didn’t have much firsthand experience about how couples acted, and I doubted Aryelle did either, but we’d figure it out. And I was actually looking forward to it.

The kiss broke, and she smiled at me again. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself,” I replied as I held her, “I think I’m going to enjoy this whole couple thing.”

“Any particular reason?” she asked.

“I can be as thorough as I want, since most of the time you won’t be leaving the next morning for a month or three,” I told her with a smile of my own, but I sobered quick. “You know same rules still apply though, Aryelle. You say stop, we stop.”

“You know the same goes for you, right?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Good, so can we go back to kissing now we’ve got the formalities out of the way?”

I was more than happy to oblige her.

The kiss started slow this time, even as she fitted herself against me. I moved from her mouth, down to her neck as she tilted her head back a little to give me better access. I wrapped one arm around her waist, and traced the curve of her breast with my free hand. I followed the line of her hip down to seam of her thigh, moving lower and lower.

The scent of her skin, the noises she was making were all calculated to drive me crazy. And doing a damned good job of it.

“Theron. Clothes. _Now_!”

“Thorough, remember?” I whispered in her ear. It says something about me that the more desperate she got, the more I wanted to go slow. Don’t know why, but it was a turn on to watch her self-control fall apart.

But I did what she wanted. Just deliberately, even as her hands were all over me.

I finished undoing her tunic, only to hear her whimper. Which forced me to take a breath so I could hang on to my own control.

“Bedroom?” I asked.

She looked up at me, eyes dark and heated, and stepped back. Stripping out of her tunic, she shook her head. “Here.”

“Bed’s more comfortable for what I have in mind, Ary.”

_That_ caught her attention, and she held out a hand to me. I took it and let her lead me into the bedroom. There was almost a single minded determination to her when it hit me: she was feeling what I was.

I’d never considered it before, which was incredibly stupid of me, and I found myself caught between concern and envy.

Aryelle stopped short of the bed and turned to look at me. “What is it, Theron?”

“I just realized… You feel _everything_ don’t you?”

“When we’re like this, yes. I can’t help it,” she said, “physical… proximity makes it even stronger.”

I could hear how she was fighting to stay coherent, and there was guilt cutting through the haze in her eyes. I slipped my arms around her, holding her tight. I didn’t bother with words, but just let her feel what I felt. How much I wanted her. How much I missed her. How much I _cared_. All the things I didn’t have the right words for but felt inside.

Ary closed her eyes, humming in pleasure as she rested her head on my shoulder for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, I had to ask, “Do you still want this?”

The look she gave me said it all:

_Don’t be stupid, Theron._

So I wasn’t.

* * *

 

She let me be thorough about getting the rest of her clothing off, but she decided to take a different route. I don’t remember much of how she got mine on the floor, but it didn’t matter as we tumbled into bed. With Aryelle’s skin against mine, I swore I could almost feel _her_ emotions, and it was intoxicating.

 I kissed her, then moved down slowly, mouth lingering on one breast and then the other even as my fingers slid up her inner thigh. I could feel her nails scratching lightly down my spine. I moaned against her skin, causing her to shiver.

She seemed content to let me set the pace for the moment, probably because she was curious about what I had in mind.

_I should do something about that._

I slid down her body, fighting to keep some form of self-control, as I began to tease her with my lips and tongue.

“Theron! Yes… more _please_!”

That was exactly what I wanted to hear as I felt her body tensing. Still, I slowed a little, wanting to draw this out a long as I could. But when I glanced up and saw the look on her face, my determination to be thorough went right out the door.

She came hard as I worked her, and a small part of me was glad we had stone walls between us and everybody else.

I know. I’m probably the only person in the galaxy who could have a rational thought at a time like this.

I kissed my way back up her body, listening to her try and catch her breath. And the look on her face was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“Good?” I whispered as I nipped gently at her ear.

She opened her eyes to look at me, and after trying several times to say something, just nodded.

I tried not to smirk, honest, but I have to admit that response did a lot for my ego.

The smirk disappeared as I felt her fingers curl around me. I’d almost forgotten how crazy-making her touch was. After all this time, I had to fight to keep control. Finally, I was on the verge of telling her to stop, but she did it on her own.

She gave me a couple moments to catch my breath before pressing me onto my back. Straddling me, Ary leaned in for a kiss, even as I slipped a hand up to cup her breast. She moaned, leaning into my touch.

When we broke for air, she whispered: “I want you like this, Theron…”

“Yes,” I replied softly, “I need you, Ary. Always have.”

She braced her hands on my shoulders as I slid inside her. My own hands went to her hips as we started to move together. We tried to take it slow, to keep some kind of rhythm, but five years’ worth of desire and need couldn’t exactly be ignored.

“Ary… Please,” I moaned, struggling to keep it together.

Then she shattered.

I watched her face as she arched back, crying out, and I just couldn’t hold out any longer.

I closed my eyes, and let the rush take me. Savoring every second of it, and willing Aryelle to feel it too.

When I opened my eyes again, I found her looking at me, eyes dark, hands braced on my shoulders, looking more beautiful than I ever imagined.

And this was _real_.

“Theron, I… this was…” she tried to get something coherent out, but I reached up, pressing a finger to her lips.

“You don’t need to say anything, Ary. I know. It was for me too.”

She gave me a small smile, relieved I understood, then asked. “you’ll stay tonight?”

I nodded, “No place I’d rather be.”


	4. The Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aryelle takes up the full burden of Commander of the Alliance.

_What are we going to do?_

_What we always do when the enemy attacks us. We’re going to hit back.”-_ Antillar Maximus and Gaius Octavian, _First Lord’s Fury_ , by Jim Butcher

* * *

 

_Aryelle Thrace_

It was too early for me to be getting a priority holo call. The insistent buzzing didn’t seem to care though as it jarred me out of a deep sleep.

“If that’s who I think it is, I’m going to kill her,” Theron growled from his side of the bed as I shoved myself up from mine. We’d gotten to sleep late last night, and not just because of our… activities. We’d spent a good portion of the evening just snuggling and talking about nothing of any consequence. Little things couples did when they were together.

I glanced at the chronometer as I pulled a dressing robe from the closet. It was only five thirty standard Odessen time. Even on a usual day I didn’t get up for another hour and a half. So why anyone was calling me now… Though I suspected Theron was right on the who.

I tied the robe’s sash tight before I entered my study and sat down at the desk. It was Lana’s identifier, and I wondered if Theron would let me help him. Or at least hold his jacket.

“Yes, Lana?” I said as I touched the acceptance key. “Is there a reason you’re calling this early?”

“I do apologize, Aryelle, but sizable contingent of both Imperial and Republic soldiers arrived a few hours ago, and I believe we need to show them a unified front as quickly as possible” Lana said from the com. “Thus it would be the best time to make your first official speech as Commander.”

“Explain to me again how I ended up leading this Alliance?” I asked her. “And if you use the word ‘destiny’ I will hurt you.”

 “Destiny has little to do with it, despite what Koth believes,” Lana said seriously, “It is simply who you are. Who you’ve been for years now. Only the enemy has changed.”

I knew she wasn’t just talking about Yavin. It was Dromund Kaas, and Corellia. Korriban, Tython, the _Desolator_ , and so many other actions I’d been involved in. The truth was I’d spent most of my adult life as a war leader, a symbol, and that’s what the galaxy needed me to be now.

I felt the warmth of Theron’s hand on my shoulder, and I knew one thing for certain: I wouldn’t be doing this alone.

“Give me an hour, Lana, then I’ll meet you in the war room.”

* * *

 

The majority of Alliance personnel were already at their stations when Theron and I arrived at the war room lift. Which meant that we had the waiting area to ourselves for the moment.

“You’ll do fine,” he told me quietly.

“And if I’m not so sure?”

He gave me that smirk that was both annoying and endearing. “Fake it.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny.”

I watched Theron sober as he shifted into his professional intelligence operative demeanor. It was an interesting change, more sensed than seen. But it was there as he said, “you can do this. You were _made_ to do this.”

I suppressed a shiver as I felt the certainty of his faith. Its strength wasn’t based in signs and portents of the Force, or the symbol of the Alliance Commander, but in me as a person. I’d never felt this from anyone before, not really, and that faith centered me in a way nothing else could.

It made taking that first step off the lift and into the war room easier.

“Attention on deck!” Koth snapped in the voice of an experienced military officer, and all eyes turned to me as I walked over to Lana.

“Good morning, Commander,” she said, as if this was a coincidental meeting, not something planned on her part.

“Good morning, Lana,” I replied, playing the same game. She then nodded her greeting to Theron, and fell in beside me, along with Koth and Senya.

The five of us walked to the end of the main platform as a small crowd gathered below. With Koth and Senya on my right, and Lana and Theron on my left, I took what I hoped was an unobtrusive breath and began:

“We’ve all lived in a divided galaxy for some time now. Empire and Republic. Jedi and Sith. We all knew who the enemy was, and that any peace was simply a pause between conflicts. But that changed when Arcann began his invasion. We were forced to watch as he took all that mattered from us, forced to sit by as he destroyed all we had fought and sacrificed for. And in the face of Arcann’s seeming invincibility it would have been easy to give into despair. To simply accept that against _his_ Eternal Empire there is no victory.”

I shook my head. “But not one of you here did. Empire and Republic. Jedi and Sith. You’ve come to this place, not only to wage a war, but to change the galaxy. To build a peace that will be more than a pause. To show the trillions of people out there that we are greater than the sum of our differences. It won’t be easy, but the worth-while things never are, and in the end, what we build will be something that we will be proud to pass on to our descendants.” I paused, looking out at the sea of faces, and felt the building excitement in the room. “I believe it, and together we will make the galaxy believe it too. Take your stations, ladies and gentlemen,” I said with a small smile. “We have a galaxy to save.”

The cheers hit me like a roll of thunder, and I knew that those cheers were being echoed in every part of the base. The only thing that kept me from being staggered by it all was the bulwark of the people beside me.

Koth and Senya were both surprised and pleased. Partially, I suspect, because I did my best not to cast all of Zakuul as the enemy. Lana was almost smug with the knowledge that she was right, and then there was Theron…

Something clicked inside me as I felt the warmth of his emotions. A clarity of purpose that had been missing since I’d been freed from carbonite.

These people believed in me, and it was time to set aside doubt and be worthy of that belief.

“It’s only a start,” I said quietly, as much to myself as to the others, “but it’s a good one.”

* * *

 

_Theron Shan_

That possessive pride was back as I listened to Aryelle speak. I couldn’t help it, because as I watched, the mood in the crowd shifted. The mixed group that arrived this morning had started out skeptical. I hadn’t had a chance to look over their dossiers yet, but I was willing to bet my SIS salary that none of them had served at Yavin. All they knew were the stories and rumors, but that wasn’t enough.

Now, though, as the soldiers listened, they began to believe, because _she_ did. Aryelle wasn’t trying to play them, they knew it, and they appreciated it.

But even as the cheers rolled on, I knew words would only go so far.

“It’s only a start,” I heard Aryelle say, “but it’s a good one.”

She was right, as usual, and now it time for me to do my job. To back up her words with action.

* * *

 

When the crowd finally broke up, I walked over to my console and punched up the list of potential recruits our analysts had put together. One name caught my eye:

_Firebrand._

An anarchist working out of the Spire, she wouldn’t exactly be my first pick, but we weren’t in a position to be choosey at the moment. I’d present it to the Commander tomorrow as soon as I did a little more research.

Commander Thrace. I thought it would take some adjustment, but the title felt natural. Still, it was the woman _behind_ the title who mattered to me. The woman I’d once promised would never be alone, who I had no intention of letting down.

Time to get to work.


End file.
